Valentine’s Day Musings

Today we are surrounded by hearts, flowers and chocolates. Yes, people, it’s that time of year again. Today is Valentine’s Day.

Personally, I’m not a big fan. It would be easy — and a cliché — to say I’m still brokenhearted over Barry’s death, but that’s simply not true. Yes, I miss him. I always will. But life goes on, and if the pain never quite goes away, it at least gets put aside, to be periodically taken out and brooded over. And that will remain true even if I’m fortunate enough to meet someone else down this road we call life. So while I’ll be thinking of Barry on and off today, that’s not why I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person.

Valentine’s Day is like Halloween and Christmas. It’s become so commercialized we’ve forgotten its origins. The holiday was originally St. Valentine’s Day, and it marked the martyrdom of not one but two (and possibly three) saints by that name on February 14. In fact, according to Wikipedia (which I would never quote when editing or writing “serious” work, but hey, this a blog!), the first valentine card may well have been sent by — wait for it — Valentine himself, to an unknown lady as he was waiting to be executed. If you want to know more, search “first valentine card” or “valentine day history”; you’ll end up with plenty to read.

Back to my personal thoughts on Valentine’s Day. As soon as the Christmas decorations in stores came down, the Valentine’s decorations went up. (Tomorrow, the decorations for St. Patrick’s Day and Easter will begin appearing. You’ll see.) The boxes of candy, the cards. The boxes of cards. And the flowers. Roses are everywhere, and at outrageous prices, because somewhere along the way, it became traditional to give flowers, especially roses and particularly red roses, on Valentine’s Day. Here’s the thing, though. All those perfect roses at $50 a dozen have almost no smell. They look alike. They are boring in their perfection. The roses in my garden smell better, and I think they’re prettier, too. And chocolate is chocolate; no matter what day of the year it is, a day without chocolate is a day without sunshine as far as I’m concerned.

I never wanted flowers on Valentine’s Day. Barry understood that, although he would still sometimes bring me chocolate. (Of course, he would also then help me consume it, so we’re possibly dealing with an ulterior motive here.) I never wanted them on our anniversary. I don’t want flowers on my birthday or on Mother’s Day. It’s on some of the other 362 (363 in leap years) days that I want flowers and chocolate. (My math is fine. I’m not counting my anniversary.) I want flowers and chocolate from someone who wants to give them to me just because — not because custom says he’s supposed to on a particular day. And if that special someone doesn’t think to get them for me, that’s okay. I’ll treat myself.

I’m going to take my coffee outside now into my garden and sniff my roses, which are starting to bloom because of the warm spell we had last month. And then tomorrow, the day after Valentine’s Day, I’m going to treat myself to chocolate — at half price.


16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bev
    Feb 14, 2011 @ 18:54:16

    I hear you! We stopped doing V-day stuff (except for the elem school xchange) when we had 2 kids born on Valentines Day. Now its a double Birthday. The problem is we can’t go out to a normal birthday dinner because every place has “special” (read that as – added cost) menus tonight. Sushi here we come though. And tomorrow, lets share a box of those 1/2 priced chocolates!!


  2. Serena
    Feb 14, 2011 @ 20:21:26

    This was great also a nice look into your life. Thanks for blogging


  3. tanya reimer
    Feb 14, 2011 @ 21:10:25

    This post brought tears to my eyes, you write with an incredible voice, and it’s how we all feel… enough already.
    Welcome to the crusade. Let me know when you set up the tab for following you, so I can see what you’re up to on my dashboard.


  4. Tony Benson
    Feb 15, 2011 @ 21:43:05

    Yes, every time we have something to celebrate it seems there’s someone (or more acurately a whole industry) barging around cashing in on our intimacy. Such a shame.

    Enjoy your Feb 15th chocolates 🙂

    It’s good to meet you, fellow crusader. I hope you enjoy the crusade.


  5. Amanda Milner
    Feb 16, 2011 @ 18:25:36

    I am totally with you on Valentine’s Day! Though I did really appreciate my gift this year:) Microsoft Office Home & Student! So much better than flowers and chocolates.
    Rach put up the Crusader’s groups and I am with you in the ‘beginning bloggers’ list. In fact I think it’s just us two. Lol! Since I am new to this I’m going to have to ask: how do I follow you? I don’t see a handy little button on your blog;-)


  6. brynafischer
    Feb 16, 2011 @ 21:11:17

    I have a “sign me up” button to the right (look under the green books of the photo). You should be able to follow me that way. I guess we’ll be learning together!


  7. Jolene Stockman
    Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:15:10

    Lovely comment by Tanya 🙂 Reading your post, I feel the same.

    I’ve been writing blog posts for a while, but I’m new to the followers / following thing… let me know when you have the follower tab set up, and I’ll get you on my dashboard, too 🙂


    • brynafischer
      Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:21:54

      I have a follower tab under the green books in the photo. I’m not sure why it’s not showing up for you. I’m also in the “new blogger” crusade group, so I’ll have to check with the group’s mentor–maybe she can help me figure out what’s going on.


  8. Raising Marshmallows
    Feb 17, 2011 @ 18:53:50

    Wonderful post! I really enjoyed it. Welcome to the crusade!



  9. Michael DI Gesu
    Feb 19, 2011 @ 01:12:42

    Hello, fellow crusader,

    I hopped over from Rach’s list to introduce myself and follow.

    Today’s the first challenge was posted…. YAH!



  10. Gina Blechman
    Feb 22, 2011 @ 00:39:52

    Maybe it’s cold-hearted of me, but I think one of the best things about valentine’s day is the chocolate sales afterwards. Why buy chocolate on/for valentine’s day, when you can buy it for half off the day after?

    ❤ Gina Blechman (fellow crusader)


    • brynafischer
      Feb 22, 2011 @ 02:11:06

      My point exactly!


      • callyjackson
        Feb 22, 2011 @ 11:46:01

        Hahaha, good point Gina! I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I’d rather my husband buy my flowers (or chocolate) because he wants to, not because he feels obliged due to some commercial brainwashing!

        Fellow beginner blogger here and I’ve noticed our blogs have more in common than just that! Eek!

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